“Batman and Robin” Movie Review

In preparation for the Dawn of Justice film, I have to review the day Batman died. This superhero film was released on June 20th, 1997, and somehow managed to gross $238.2 million at the box office; if you saw this film in the theaters, I am sorry for you. In the story, Batman and the Dick Grayson Robin are tracking down two mysterious villains named Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy who want to reshape Gotham in their own twisted imagination while Alfred is dying of a terminal illness. Oh, and they saw fit to include Batgirl into the mix. That is the full extent of the story, exposing how little time was put into this. At least the cast tries hard, but you can clearly tell that Chris O’Donnell and George Clooney do not want to be there. Yes, even though he sounds perfect for the role, George Clooney fails horribly as the billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne A.K.A. Batman. The only actor who seems to be committed to their role is Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze, but it still proves to be one of his worst film roles to date, which is saying something. Speaking of Mr. Freeze, I have to mention the slew of terrible puns. There are so many that I’ve lost count after “Let’s kick some Ice!” However, these puns prove to be one of the only sources of entertainment as they can tend to be hilariously stupid. The other form of true entertainment comes in the form of quiet, fireside conversations between Alfred Pennyworth and Bruce Wayne to signify their close relationship. These scenes actually were watchable and gave the film a sense of depth and believable humanity. Unfortunately, that’s about where the positives stop. Essentially everything afterwards is so poorly executed that director Joel Schumacher actually posted an apology to fans in a 2005 DVD release of the film. That feature also featured actors George Clooney, Alicia Silverstone, and Chris O’Donnell confessing how uncomfortable they felt while wearing ridiculous costumes. Despite strong attempts to stay true to the original material, these costumes were just so weird. How can any of us forget those damn nipples and enlarged codpieces? Apparently, due to excessive shots of these body parts, there are some that believe Joel Schumacher was attempting homoerotic innuendo. Whether or not that’s true is up to your interpretation. But one thing is for sure: this film’s tone and style was way too campy and light. No wonder Warner Bros. is making sure that never happens with there latest films. Interestingly, it is said that Warner Bros. fast-tracked the development of this film, which is why Joel Schumacher believes this was a disaster. Even so, Schumacher STOP MAKING THESE KIND OF MOVIES! I sympathize with you when these films are made. Get your orders down from Warner Bros., make in a just a few short months. What the hell do you do? I don’t know, but you do not come out with a film like this; it’s wrong. I don’t know how Dawn of Justice could be any worse, but hopefully we see more effort put in into production than this abomination.

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