Just because I voluntarily skipped out on something in theaters doesn’t mean I’m not gonna eventually come around to it. And sometimes, it’s not always fun going that route anyway. This violent superhero fantasy adventure film was released internationally by Lionsgate on April 12th, 2019. Although it grossed over $46.1 million at the worldwide box office, the film was budgeted at $50 million, making it a bomb for the studio. Some industry experts chalked it up to the film’s uneven marketing campaign, others blamed it on the general lack of public interest in the source material. But it was most likely because it tanked heavily with both critics and audiences, killing numerous hopes for a brand new franchise. Directed by Neil Marshall, the reboot began development when both Guillermo del Toro and star Ron Perlman walked away from a possible third film. Mike Mignola, the creator of the comic book series the film is based on, has said that he had virtually nothing to do with production beyond writing very early drafts. Before the film even began production, a controversy arose involving a clear case of whitewashing, an issue that was quickly resolved yet still hung over the film. In addition, it was reported that Marshall consistently clashed on-set with producers Lawrence Gordon and Lloyd Levin, who allegedly wanted to control every aspect of production. David Harbour stars as Hellboy, a demon who’s been brought up on Earth by human paranormal investigators. One day, they come upon a prophecy dictating that the world will end soon from Blood Queen Vivian Nimue, played by Milla Jovovich. Teaming up with a psychic medium and a cynical M11 agent, Hellboy must move swiftly to prevent the end of the world. Although I wasn’t crazy about it like other film fans, I really enjoyed Guillermo del Toro’s Hellboy adaptation back in 2004. Despite some pacing issues, it took itself seriously *just* enough to still have fun with itself. I was bummed out that we never got a proper third installment because the universe and lore here is genuinely interesting. I was cautiously optimistic about this new iteration because while I love the cast, it really went through the behind-the-scenes wringer. It was especially intriguing because of the R-rating, which del Toro had consistently fought for and lost. But that doesn’t really matter because Hellboy is somehow both generic AND convoluted and one of the worst blockbusters in recent memory. I don’t really blame Marshall for this trainwreck because he likely had some really cool ideas of his own to bring to the table. But that didn’t seem to matter to the studio, who probably wanted to adapt one of the few comic book properties that still doesn’t have DC or Marvel plastered in front of it. I confess to not being super familiar with the source material, but this approach just felt wrong in so many ways. Perhaps the biggest offense with the new Hellboy is its complete lack of personal identity among the crowded superhero genre. Sure, the R-rating allows it to be bloodier and more profane than most entries, but that’s definitely not to its credit. On the contrary, the swap of a personality with tons of gore and swearing make it feel like it has the maturity of a 14-year-old deciding to mix Mad Max and Ghost Rider in a melting pot; only this isn’t NEARLY as awesome as that combo sounds. Among the sea of blood-soaked feces, David Harbour is legitimately a good choice for the titular character. His gruff voice and attitude are perfectly suited for the character, an otherworldy badass who’s familiarity with human culture makes for some admittedly funny interactions. While the fighting choreography for the film is highly questionable, his immense physique makes him incredibly formidable. Opposite him for a decent chunk of the runtime, Milla Jovovich just isn’t that great as Vivian Nimue the Blood Queen. It’s not necessarily her fault because the script paints her as a highly generic villain without enough menace to give stakes. For me, Ian McShane is typically the kind of actor who can steal the show even in bad movies. But here, as Trevor Bruttenholm, he struggles to bring Hellboy’s adoptive father to life, saying many clunky lines with all the profanity of Al Swearingen but with none of the spirit. Sadly, none of the other supporting players are able to elevate much higher than these main three. Not Sasha Lane as a young and feisty psychic medium, not Daniel Dae Kim as a rugged and cynical M11 agent, (A role which was initially whitewashed very early on) not Stephen Graham as a bitter boar-like fairy wanting revenge on Hellboy, and not even Brian Gleeson as the very withered wizard Merlin can bring any real fun or nuance to their characters. Every one of them is stuck in a rut, seemingly unable or maybe unwilling to find any decent angle to work from. Even from just a purely technical perspective, Hellboy is far from impressive or even passable. The camera work by Lorenzo Senatore, cinematographer of Risen and Megan Leavey, uses weird frames to create the canvas. The colors often feel saturated, particularly the color red for blood, but that doesn’t really make it look unique or interesting. In fact, a number of shots are downright ugly and feel like a first-year intern trying to adapt a graphic novel with no clue of what they’re doing. It also doesn’t help that the CGI is mostly bad and unconvincing. Meanwhile, the editing job by Martin Bernfeld isn’t a whole lot better, as the action scenes are so choppy that they lack tension or pacing. Some moments feel like they were meant to be longer takes but were watered down at the last minute. During the dramatic moments, it’s even weirder. Often times, when a character is delivering an expository monologue or we see a seriously deformed Nimue lecturing her minions, it constantly cuts between different shots, and never in an organic way. The film opens with a prologue explaining the villain’s backstory, but the oddly muted colors and unnatural transitions are likely to throw people off. In many ways, this opening really sets the scene for the rest of the film to come. It’s only really the titular character’s impressive makeup by Joel Harlow that stands out in below-the-line departments. Harbour is literally red from head to toe and, unlike the rest of the film, it doesn’t look like cheap CG. His shaved horns are particularly cool, creating a unique contrast between his demonic origins and his more human persona. Plus, his piercing red eyes and massive stone-clad right hand make him at least look intimidating. But that’s all just the one character’s look in a film littered with problems on several levels. Lacking any clear direction or memorable moments, Hellboy is an unmitigated mess of bad writing piss-poor action scenes. It’s not really Neil Marshall or Mike Mignola’s fault here, as neither one really had much control over the project to begin with. If not for David Harbour’s compelling performance or the convincing makeup he wears for the entirety of the film, there would be almost nothing worth salvaging here. In the end, this is another prime example of what happens when studio executives interfere; they only have themselves to blame.